the ladies way: Famous reasons why he cannot be with you

My best friend broke up a few weeks ago. She is an anesthesiologist and he’s a surgeon. They fell in love one night in the hospital, while trying to save someone’s life. (Ahh! so romantic!). Their relationship lasted 1 year and a half despite the many ups and downs. However someday she realized that she could not compromise her need for real communication and caring any longer and he admitted that he couldn’t give more, so she put on her shoes, she took some medicine books she had left in his house and left him.

Since that day we’ve spent hours talking, elaborating on the famous fear of commitment, trying to explain every word he said and every move he made in historical order, coming to the conclusion that a)she was too good for him and that scared him, b)he’s found another, c)he’s going through a tough phase and cannot “function” in a relationship, etc.

Does this remind you of anything?
Yes, it’s the famous family of the “why he cannot be with me” reasons that we come up with when someone does not want to be with us, or that someone comes up with when they don’t want to be with us…Let’s see some more:
d) He was ok, but maybe you asked too much, too soon
e) He was ok but maybe you should have shown him that you cared in a more straight way so that he could take you more seriously
f) He was influenced by his close friends, who happen to be single
g) You are very good-looking and he was so jealous that he was suffering so he decided not to care very much.
h) You’re extraordinarily smart and he feels threatened by a high IQ.
i) He had just broken up when you met him and he wasn’t really ready for a new commitment
j) He comes from a divorced family and is afraid of being hurt if he gets very close to a partner.
k) He was very old / young for you and he couldn’t cope with that, he is very sensitive and cannot ignore his social circle’s / family’s / friends’ comments.
l) He’s married and although he doesn’t love his wife anymore, he has to live with her for the children’s sake.
m) He likes you very much, but he has to focus on his career right now, so there’s no room for you in his life.

My dear female friends, do you REALLY need to know why? I mean REALLY? What you really need to know when someone doesn’t want to be with you, is that he doesn’t want to be with you. Otherwise, no matter what the problems are, he would be with you. Of course it’s somewhat useful to know the reason why a relationship didn’t work out, because there might be a chance here to know something about yourself and the way you relate to others, but you won’t find it in the above clichés.
Above all, don’t use those clichés to keep alive the hope that he will come back. Don’t keep yourself waiting for the day when the problem that didn’t let him be with you will disappear. Oh, please! Go on with your life –and that’s not a cliché- you should be ashamed of yourself, crying over and waiting for someone who doesn’t want you in his life. You owe it to you and to the people who love you to be happy every day of your life. You owe it to all the other women in the world, to give them a good example. Don’t waste your time and your tender heart on wrong relationships. If he was the right guy, he would be there with you. And OFCOURSE don’t you dare thinking that it was your fault that you two broke up. I forbid it, girls! Don’t forget to love yourself because some idiot doesn’t love you.

Take care,
Ladybird